the boys in action...

oui mama. yes.

so my boys are absolutely crazy town!!! i have been told that several boys, including mine run up a wall and flip backward off of it at the orphanage. we didn't get all crouching tiger and hidden dragon at the hotel but we did have some fun.

the next trip to haiti is 22 days away. today marks two weeks since i said goodbye to them when i visited in october. two weeks. two of the longest weeks of my life. 14 days. and i'm a mess. how will i make the stretch from january to april? will i be able to see them in april? we just learned that there is now a 10 family cap being enforced for the bonding trips. this heartbreaking news comes as a blow. we're all trying to understand that the cap has been put in place due to the lack of resources available such as vehicles, translators, and food.

i say we, because we are a part of something we call team haiti. team haiti is facilitated on a private facebook page dedicated to the parents of several agencies adopting from our orphanage. team haiti is an amazing and beautiful group of people sharing the process of adopting from haiti. we are all working to bring our children home! we were recently given the opportunity to share some photos of our family and our boys in haiti for a video. we declined as we've been asked by our agency not to post the boys on facebook and other public sites. we can post them here on our private blogs. i deeply regret that we are not in this video.  it seems that we're the only family that was asked not to.  so much for that, if there's another opportunity i'm taking it because it's an opportunity to tell our story. it's posted on my wall, but it's a private link so i can post it here.

when i left the boys this last time we were asked to walk them to the end of a hall down the center of the main building. we stopped about 3/4 of the way down and daril slumped against the wall with his head down. he responded with a sad, "oui mama. yes." he's such a good boy. i told him to take care of djedly and i told djedly to take care of daril. i told them that i was happy that they're together and that i was devastated to be leaving them. i asked daril to count down with me. i told him i would return in 35 days. "oui, mama. yes." it was perhaps the most horrible conversation i've ever had to participate in. my son looked up at me with cheeks soaked in fresh tears, falling fast and catching up with one another. i cupped his head on my arm and cried with him. how do i tell him that i don't know when i'll be back?